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<p>了解我的人应该都晓得,我前些日子还是去疯狂老哈,虽然结果似乎显而易见——我没有成功,准确的说,都还没开始就已经结束老。但是不得不说在我的人生中画出了美妙的一笔,我似乎体会到了那种不爽的感觉,就是一连几天都不开心,而且好像觉得目标头都少了点啥子,感觉像行尸走肉…</p>
<p>这两天才慢慢摆脱出来,似乎是。因此我就想嘛,我们这些大师怎么能不用文字把这些东西记录下来呢?</p>
<p>以前呢,虽然有好多次都像是这样的情况,但是本质的区别就是我自己没疯狂,自己没去表露心声,当然都是同一个人,同一种事物。所以说感觉对我莫得好大的影响,但是这次就不一样老塞,我去疯狂老,虽然结果还是一样,但是性质就不一样老多嘛…这个行动是在很多很多同性以及异性朋友的支持与帮助下,让我迈出了这一步,非常感谢他们,不然的话,我还一直会不好意思,因为我脸皮薄,而且还是要去面对这样一个人,可以想见是多么多么地紧张。不过我还是能干嘛,终于疯狂了…</p>
<p>此前没做这个事以前,几乎全部的人听老我的事之后都喊我放弃,我朗门可能嘛,当时好不心甘哦!我从来都倔强,我想得到的东西,就一般不会轻易放弃…最后我还是自己想去争取,当然也稍微学老一招半式:要真诚,脸皮要厚。我稍微做了…</p>
<p>这个事情之后哎,就像我刚开始说的,我莫得啥子很后悔的老,但是我真的累老,感觉有点空…那几天是相当得不爽,是低落…</p>
<p>我是决定真的忘老,我真的在这门做…我必须要说这句话,否则有些人看老又要说:你这个娃儿朗门这么××。</p>
<p>哥之所以有如上此此,因为哥我那是真的××。(是啥词,一个二个这么能干,猜嘛。)</p>
<p>这个事情我不好直接说,因为简直写得太多了,不好意思了…懂得起的就应该猜得到,能干得也猜得到。</p>
<p>你们说嘛,我是不是很能干,在手机上这么多字,而且只用了半个小时。我只有用手机才会有这样多的感觉。</p>
<p>这阵老师正在讲,当和尚还要大学文凭…哈哈,不得了哦…</p>
<p>我的天啊,终于写完了…</p>
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<p>毕业了,上大学了…然而我们并没有迎来想象中的快乐,我们似乎仍然有太多不爽,太多闷闷不乐—很多上大学的同学和朋友都这样给我说,然而我经历的好像也确实是这样。</p>
<p>我们大一的新生,才来到陌生的大学校园,没有高中老师的鞭策,没有同学之间那样猛烈的竞争。没有一天10几个小时都待在教室里学习,没有以前高中那样努力的学习,没有那几点一线的生活,没有父母在身边温暖的呵护,没有那么单纯的社会环境,没有那么忙碌的生活,没有很多很多…</p>
<p>我们还没有…还没有找到想象总的白雪公主抑或是白马王子,我们还没有像大二大三的那样老练,我们…</p>
<p>我们有的是迷茫,有的是心中的梦想,我们还可以说我们还有未来,我们还有我们…似乎现在我们也只有我们。老实说现在的生活好空虚,是精神上的空虚,而非简单的身体上的休闲,一群群渴望爱的人,渴望被发现,被重视的人…我现在也许真的缺少一个人来管我,虽然我没有那么多的自由,但是我会庆幸,至少还有人在乎我,有人爱我(当然爸爸妈妈除外,因为他们一直不离不弃地爱着我们)。我渴望爱,更渴望被爱,不简单地指爱情,还有很多很多…</p>
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<a href="/2009/11/06/%E6%B5%81%E6%84%9F%E6%9D%A5%E8%A2%AD/" class="post-title-link" itemprop="url">流感来袭</a>
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<p>流感来袭,很不幸昨天晚上我不知不觉地倒下了,遭传染了,不过我相信我得的不是甲流,应该是普通的流感。</p>
<p>哎,今天一天都好恼火哦,上午鼻子不通,下午流清鼻涕,晚上鼻子又不通,到现在仍然不通,真的感受到痛苦了,我都好久没有这样生病过了…我郁闷啊。</p>
<p>最近这两天可能还要写一两篇日志,是关于最近的生活上的一些感受嘛。反正哦现在体会到了一些,我这两个月成熟得比高中三年都还多。还有就是很多女生变得比你想象的要快!</p>
<p>哎,不写多了,明天事还很多,晚上还要去联谊,可是有很多美女啊,是编导班的…哈哈,刚好和我们互补…<br>.</p>
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<p>故事的开始有一个美丽的开始,却没有一个完美的结尾。</p>
<p>到文新学院传媒中心当摄影记者,是我怎么都没有想过的,然后由于学姐的出现,让我有了这样一个美好的开端。不好意思,我的确是走的后门,没有经过正式的考核,也不能进行正式的考核(由于我不是他们学院的),也许正是这没有考核,成为了该死的导火索(当然也许和这个完全没有关系。),我又想多了。</p>
<p>    说说我是怎么进去的吧。(似乎我记得不是很清楚)是我和学姐聊天的时候,无意聊到她是传媒中心的,然后·······我记不清了。反正是学姐给他们学院的院长,书记说了,然后我才加进去的。(学姐在这里真的要好好的感谢你,然后我让你失望了,不好意思)</p>
<p>细数起来,我一共拍了5个新闻吧。哎其中有些也不是我一个人拍的。这其中的新闻有大新闻当然也有小新闻。怎么说呢,我努力了,然后部长说我几次都没什么进步,老实说我不服气。说实话我有时候拍的照片确实没有主题,我承认,我后已经在改变了,我觉得后两次新闻我都是认真的拍。倒数第二次吧,当时就感觉到这个会议不好拍,为什么呢,因为那个房间不大,而且他们开会时做的椭圆形,我要找一个地方把他们全部都照下来,真的很困难,而且那间会议室没有开灯,光线也不好。至于最后一次嘛。我个人觉得是我拍得最好的一次了,看到那篇新闻几乎都是用的我拍的,而不是另外的,也许这是最后的一丝慰藉。</p>
<p>有个事情我必须要说哈,管它影响怎么样。就是我被训,也是唯一一次被人这样指手画脚而且我还没发火(为了这个记者,我已经改变了很多)。但是老实说我受不了被人这样说,说我莫得啥子啥子感觉,我说我可以学噻,他说有些东西是学不到的。我只能说当时有好不爽···但是我什么也没用狡辩,我忍了,我真的要说好难得。以后再也不会有人对我这样说了。说到这又想起些许,是在最后一次执行任务吧,在最后任务的最后时刻,你知道被人这样说的感觉吗?“XXX,这次任务比较重要,你吧这个给XX拍嘛。”这个感觉也许就是当兵 的人被人把枪夺了的感觉吧,最根本还是不信任吧。老实说真的很打击人。在我以前从来没有被人这样不信任过,有的话都是别人信任我,而我自己选择逃避,而现在“终于”被人不信任了。</p>
<p>传媒中心我把你开除了——我自我安慰地说。</p>
<p>下面要说说在传媒中心的一些人吧。</p>
<p>当然,学姐你又是第一个,因为我要感谢你,感谢你让我加入那个大家庭,虽然时间短暂,但是我看到了很多东西,学到了很多。</p>
<p>罗岚姐,和你一起去拍过三次新闻,真的下来感觉你人很好。很友善,也教了我一些东西,谢谢。</p>
<p>邓志娟部长,允许我现在还这样叫你哈。反正还是谢谢你的照顾嘛。有时候你怕伤到我太间接了,其实我还是喜欢直接点,因为我是急性子,不喜欢憋到起。</p>
<p>还有邓丹,贺悦,还有视频部那天在DV大赛和我一起拍照的那个兄弟(不好意思,还晓不到名字)。。。认识你们很高兴。</p>
<p>要离开这个集体了,有舍不得,当然更多的是失落(因为我试被走的,但是我想说的是我不服气)。不舍这里的人,不舍的还有······</p>
<p>最后就当个“怨妇”嘛,我不服气,难道我这么几次没有进步,难道我不适合做这个?我不相信是这样的。</p>
<p>哎,也许真的我应该更多的去从事和我自己专业有关的事了,Junv啊美好的未来喊你回家吃饭了······</p>
<p>想知道我的理想吗,我的理想是开一个google这样的公司。当然这个是相当困难的,也许就是一个梦,但是谁说他没有可能呢。心有多大,舞台就有多大。。。</p>
<p>传媒中心我把你开除了——我自我安慰地说。</p>
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<p>明明晓得不应该这么去做,明明晓得即使做了这样的可能性只有1%.明明晓得这样会受伤!虽然好多明明,我还是这样去做了,结果还是不想看到的这种,而且当然又是失望了,又是不快了,即使我努力通过看搞笑视频来弥补一些,但是它达到的效果只是让我皮笑肉不笑,我又想叹气了…</p>
<p>他们都说过不要再去找她了,我的高中毁了,不能再把大学也毁了。我自己也是这样对自己说的。可是我每每难道那灰白的QQ秀变成鲜艳的彩色时,内心总会有一点小小的波澜,我是不是应该去问候一下?我是不是应该和他把握现在这个机会?哎,任何选择都是痛苦的,我最近又去犯贱了,我去打开了那扇闸门,心中那股洪流变不可收拾了,她的任何回复我都觉得很她对我的一种进步,然而事实表明不是这样,只是我的一厢情愿…</p>
<p>该死的犯贱的我,不应该去主动联系她,没有联系时候,我已经很久没有叹气了,已经变得很快乐了…是我自己去破坏了这个安宁。一切都是我心中的那粒种子它并没完全干枯啊…</p>
<p>我与她,我永远都处于弱势,我永远都处于被动的状态!…我啊,她啊!</p>
<p>我真的想忘啊,我也真的在忘啊,可是对我开说好像从今天晚上开始又更难了!我该朗门办嘛…</p>
<p>我需要让我转移视线的目标啊,在哪里?也许已经出现,也许还在未来…</p>
<p>这一切的后果都源于我这个犯贱的举动,我只能自己来承担一切心灵的痛苦…</p>
<p>我写的不是文章,是一个个无奈的寂寞啊!</p>
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<p>本人最近有个感受—当经历过高考的我们进去大学后,似乎每个人都变成了夜游神,不知疲倦得游荡在网络之中。</p>
<p>当时间指向12点,当我打开QQ。我发现我的高中好友,大学好友里面仍然有很多在线的人。</p>
<p>说说我自己的感受吧,自从我进去大学后,也是有了电脑之后嘛!我觉得早睡简直是一种浪费(当然这种想法是错的),我变得每天都要熬到12点以后才会到床上…当然在12点之前我很多时候是在上网,也不排除某些时候我是在打电话。但是这一个月以来,我已经养成了在12点以后睡觉的习惯,也许这个时间对大学生开说不算太迟,我觉得也许还是可以称之为夜游神了。</p>
<p>我也认识一个台湾女孩子,每次当我由于时间缘故即到了12点的时候,向她告别。她总会说:“你这么早睡哦?”当然留给我的只有一脸的困惑与不解。而对她来说她的黑夜是从她睡觉的时候到中午12点…</p>
<p>当然现在写这篇日志也是在12点以后,因为我白天根本不想把时间用在这上面,我可不喜欢在白天打一大堆文字,除非逼不得已…然而在现在,特别是放假的时候,我一般都比较悠闲,当然也特别是这个时候…这个时候也是我心最静的时候,我会仔细地想一些东西,哪怕是胡乱的想,我也会觉得是一件很快意的事…</p>
<p>我在假期做一个潇洒的夜游神…我爱狂想!</p>
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<p>已经好久没有在12点以前睡觉了,现在觉得好像在12点以前睡是一种浪费…晓得脑壳是不是坏了哦!</p>
<p>这几天晓不得为啥有点冲动样,已经有一段时间没有这种体会了,以前都是有一段时间多冲动,然而不久又冷却了,晓不得被啥子给我浇熄了…</p>
<p>很庆幸的是自从我上大学以来我几乎没有叹气了,但要是换做以前老是唉声叹气…这点熟悉我的人都晓得,只是他们晓不得是为啥罢了…</p>
<p>亲爱的亲爱的(这样说好像我脑壳有屎样,因为我现在还莫得亲爱的):哎,可以说啥哎…</p>
<p>这个文章完全是狂想曲,它完全没有中心,仅仅是属于我自我释放!哈哈,今天我看起来不错!亲爱的,相信你也一样…</p>
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<a href="/2009/09/24/%E5%87%8C%E4%B9%B1but%E7%9C%9F%E5%AE%9E/" class="post-title-link" itemprop="url">凌乱but真实</a>
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<p>来到成大已经20多天了,当然在这个地方感触还是很多很多的,但是一直都不想写东西,也许是现在还没有完全缓过来。今天晚上突然心血来潮想要写点东西。我写的也许凌乱but真实,请相信我。</p>
<p>    首先还是说说我的专业吧,我是软件工程系2班的。然后我们这个系是出了名的女生少,我们班好像只有5个,这个其实也不是什么问题,它只是个不是问题的问题。我们系好像还是挺不错的,你看嘛我们校长是以前川大的这方面的教授,我们学校又有一个副校长是加拿大籍华裔,以前在厦门大学也是这方面的专家。并且我们系大一就有6个班,我想应该是最多的老哦,所以我觉得我们系还是相当有前途的。哈哈。。。。理想和现实还是不远。。</p>
<p>    我在这想抱怨哈这个宽带简直太丑了,而且价格还不菲。狗日的电信在我们学校垄断经营,也不晓得这里面有些啥子内幕。。。哎总之我们这些只有被宰的命哦。还有一点就是那个一直让我很放心的移动在这个地方也丑得恼火啊,经常莫法上网或者是等好久才可以连上网络,最恼火的是有时打电话还连接错误。这些问题我都反映几次了,但是都没有得到解决。曾经一度有放弃用移动的念头,但是最终还是放弃了,不晓得啥子原因好像已经离不开移动了。希望以后可以改进啊,我还是喜欢你的哈——一移动。</p>
<p>   下面就要说哈我们的这些老师老,最最扯的就是数学老师——高朝邦。首先我要表示的是对他上课的喜欢,人也很不错哦,他最经典的话就是给抽象的定义——难得糊涂。(他说这是世界上最简短的定义了。你们懂不?反正我至今一点也不懂,可能很长一段时间也不会懂了。)他讲课多幽默的,把我们一本完全英文的微积分讲得我们时不时笑声连连,而且我们几乎都不用书,直接听他讲就是了。。。。反正他的魅力是我这么些文字说不完的哈。期待发现他的更多经典。我们的英语老师是熊亭玉,总之她这个人还中规中矩的,也还是多喜欢笑的一个人,总是努力提起我们的学习激情,但是好像这个方法不是很管用哈,但是我还是对英语多有兴趣的。哦,不能忘了我们的导师——李焰,嗯,对我们还是多好的,她是一个多干练的女性,绝对不像那些罗嗦的人。也许是她很忙,也许这就是大学反正我是很少可以见到她。还有教我们国学导论的孔教授,听她讲孔子真的好有意思哦,真的想让她一直教我们。可惜这是不可能的,她完成教学任务了,她走了,现在还想听她的课啊,不知道什么时候可以。一定会去的。其他的老师我就不想多说些什么了。</p>
<p>     <img src="http://img.bimg.126.net/photo/fmlV1yEDqIgU2TIne8MBdA==/3989907794874509748.jpg" alt="凌乱but真实 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客" title="凌乱but真实 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客"></p>
<p>学姐(虽然年龄比我小(这点我好自卑)但是她资格老,经历丰富多嘛,而且喊小艾好像我也喊不出口。所以还是喊学姐比较亲切些。再说现在已经习惯老)!我觉得她是我在这里遇到的一个很重要的人,看来我的大学应该会因此而改变老。我觉得还是有必要说哈遇到她的过程。其实是在群里面遇到的,然后随便进空间留了一个言,哪晓得学姐人这么好,陌生人给她留言她也回,好就这样我们慢慢就认识了也。发现嗯人真的很不错,而且好像人缘相当好哦。。。不得了啊。。。还有就是追她的人那是相当多哦足以见得她的魅力绝对不仅仅是外表。在学姐的带领下,我进入了他们院报,虽然是试用阶段,但是我已经很幸福了,毕竟我的高中真的太黑暗了,我都佩服我在高中居然都没有患自闭症。看来现在是不可能了。学姐教老我很多东西,很重要的一点要我看到现实的残酷(这点我现在还不是很有体会,慢慢来嘛,多半就可以体会真实的老.).这几句话是专门要对学姐你说的:“学姐,二天就要跟到你屁股后头老哦,你甩都甩不拖了,只要你有饭吃吃,我就要喝你一点汤哦。。。我妈说汤里面的值气最多,那我不是又占便宜老哦?。反正我是要跟到你学东西的。嘿嘿,想不到你小小的身体里面居然藏有这么巨大的能量啊。。。简直不得了。哦,还有学姐,希望你早日找到你的新男朋友哈,不要再想到那个男的老。你可以找到更好的,相信我,也相信你自己。还有我也晓不到里面啥子原因都经常不去上课,我也不懂太多,但是我希望你还是自己的专业课多去听塞。你不会怪我管得太宽嘛?哇,回头看看,已经写了很多,那是因为你很重要哈。</p>
<p>下面是我第一次拍的新闻照片。。。。还可以。<img src="http://img.bimg.126.net/photo/Su2WRqjtj2OEDcggpst8qA==/5389682854056140458.jpg" alt="凌乱but真实 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客" title="凌乱but真实 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客"></p>
<p><img src="http://img.bimg.126.net/photo/Su2WRqjtj2OEDcggpst8qA==/5389682854056140458.jpg" alt="凌乱but真实 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客" title="凌乱but真实 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客"></p>
<p><img src="http://img.bimg.126.net/photo/Su2WRqjtj2OEDcggpst8qA==/5389682854056140458.jpg" alt="凌乱but真实 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客" title="凌乱but真实 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客"></p>
<p><img src="http://img.bimg.126.net/photo/Su2WRqjtj2OEDcggpst8qA==/5389682854056140458.jpg" alt="凌乱but真实 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客" title="凌乱but真实 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客"><br>还要说的就是关于男女。这个东西反正在以前高中这方面失败的时候是相当渴望在大学多早就耍朋友的,现在倒不是很想但是还是有点想。不过这个东西急不得要慢慢来。。。在成大看到好多美女,确实心砰然一动,但也仅仅是砰然一动,绝对没有动两下。只是有时看到美女,而且衣着暴露的,忍不住回头再看一眼。哎。。。这是本能啊。。。看多了就希望以后自己的女朋友也是很漂亮的,但是现实是一定是要我喜欢的。漂亮是其次。看到好多情侣,当然也有不少比较热血沸腾的,有在大白天在湖边kiss的,也有晚上在树林里卿卿我我的,下面的事那就不知道要发生什么了。。。当然还有很多。。似乎这一切都很正常啊。。不懂,多半慢慢就晓得了。。。</p>
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<p>我不喜欢谈恋爱,因为没人找我谈!……我的一位同学如是说。天哪,这个太精辟了!雷死你不犯法。这个明明是为自己的无能找借口的说法嘛!我自己又按这个创造了几个。我不喜欢吃饭,因为没人给我煮。我不喜欢睡觉,因为没人陪我睡。我不喜欢你,因为没人让我喜欢你。我真的觉得那句话太强了!我不喜欢谈恋爱,因为没人找我谈。</p>
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<p>昨天上午发书了,老实说我觉得我们不是软件工程系,而是外语系。为什么要这样说呢?是因为总共有10本书,然而英语有关的就占了6本。并且我觉得最让我头疼的是,我们发了一本800多页的微积分,然而这本书是全英文的原版教材,除了封面的那几个汉字,其余的都是英文。看来以后英语是相当相当的重要啊。<img src="http://img.bimg.126.net/photo/Su2WRqjtj2OEDcggpst8qA==/5389682854056140458.jpg" alt="新书。新的任务 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客" title="新书。新的任务 - wahyd4 - 龙的博客"></p>
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